Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
