then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
