the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
