my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
