And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
