You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
