if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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