I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i will never coherently bang her
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
