Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
