"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
