Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I have peed in a lot of sinks
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
