last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
