omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
