I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
