I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
