you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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