It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
