Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
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