I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
