Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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