I think scott just propositioned me for sex
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
