We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
