So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
