Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Life is so much better after having sex.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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