You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
