I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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