good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The ass gains better be worth it
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
