I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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