Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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