How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
