I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Randomize
