Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
