ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
