fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she peed on how many people?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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