NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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