I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
