dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
