Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
