You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
