Christians are straight up FREAKS
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
