4 words: hood of his car
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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