My brain says no but my pants say off.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
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