she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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