Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
