I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
