love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I don't think brook has ever known best
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
