Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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