remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
