Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
