she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
