My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
