his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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