don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
