He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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