I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
