I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
