Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
