Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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