Me. At least after what I've been through.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
someone owes me an orgasm
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
