wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
