So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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