I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
