I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
