So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
