Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize