The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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