I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
